I've always wanted to buy a house and a Toyota Hilux. I've just been having second thoughts and a second decision that's why I never had the chance to really do it. Aside from the feeling of being free from tdoing everything that I want, I also have this feeling that I want her back.
Yesterday, I sent Elizabeth a message asking how she was and she said that she's good. I tried to strike up a conversation about how she really is. She eventually told me about her interviews and where she's at right now with those interviews. Her actually answering my questions and not shutting me out by saying, "What do you care?" It was definitely something else. She was able to tell me specifically what was going on with all of her job applications. I'm genuinely excited for her except that these companies are not offering her what she definitely deserves. Based from experience, I so know how she performs and she's really something else. She was my supervisor when I started with ICT and she was definitely someone I looked up to. How she is as a boss made me fall in love with her. Up until now, I have to admit, I'm still very much in love with her. I may seem selfish but at some days, I'd really wanna have her all to myself. We do not get to spend much quality time and whatever chance I get, I'd take it.
It is not true that I love JDee more than her daughter. JDee may have all my attention and it's all because I live with him. He's my source of sanity and happiness. He manages to cheer me up in my bottom moments. Still, that would not compare to an actual person's comfort. I love Elizabeth with all my heart and I love Crystal like my own daughter. I'm not sure why that's hard to understand.
But, gahd, I do miss Elizabeth so badly and I only wish to hold her tight in my arms once again...
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